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koganphrancis · 7 years ago

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Season H8 Episode 2 Recap

TV Guide’s review of this ep begins thusly: I don't want to write this story. Can I start by saying that?

I hear that-there’s so much just truly AWFUL in this episode that I’m not sure I can do it justice.

An important point I want to hit right away is that what really gets to me the longer the show goes on is how nothing that happens to Ian is advancing his story. In this week’s episode I can’t even begin to count how many splats of poop plop onto him, and by the end nothing has changed. He’s still in grief, he’s still pretty dumb, he’s still “with” Terror. What was the point of any of it?

I’ll try to summarize the other storylines as quick as I can-Fiona continues her nowhere near reality building manager life. She’s battling tenants for the rent (??? this is the first month she’s collecting rent even tho Monica died months ago?) and SOOOOO much time is wasted with her yelling at people we don’t know. By the end of the ep, she’s slapping an eviction notice on a door and warming that if the family isn’t out the next day, she’s calling the marshals. I know this show isn’t a documentary, but that bit was so far from the way things work I wanted to cry. I’m stuck working in the next cube over from a woman who owns a couple of small apartment buildings with her husband, and I’ve had to hear how hard it is to evict someone more than once. It takes months, and lawyers, and court appearances, and if there’s little kids involved-like the family they showed on Shameless-it takes even longer. There are no branches of “marshals” sitting around waiting for landlords to call and tell them to kick people out, same day service. Also, it’s already getting to me how unrealistic it is for Fiona to even own this building. Who is taking care of cleaning the common areas? How does she pay anyone to fix clogged pipes, broken heating, etc? She’s still working at the diner too, so she’s not rolling in cash. The show just handing her this enterprise to run is too hard to believe (or get interested in, but don’t let me digress). It’s so soap opera-y, they might as well have said she was suddenly running her own fashion design firm or cosmetic company or something.

Lip continues to be a dink. Mooning over Snore, wanting to come up with a way to show her her ex is no good. He takes advice from fucking Frank and has a pizza guy come to the diner so he can order a special pizza to be delivered to the ex-why does Lip know his address? The pizza has a bag of coke on it, and the ex runs to a meeting to resist the temptation. Now, I don’t know if he’s also an alcoholic also, so he goes to AA meetings too, but in an incredible coincidence, Lip and the ex are at the exact same meeting! Fancy that! While he’s talking about trying to not snort the coke, he conveniently mentions it’s still sitting in his house. Lip tears out of the meeting, breaks into the guy’s house and gets his leg chewed up by a guard dog for his trouble. Too many coincidences PLUS the shitty idea it was to begin with make this storyline pretty unbearable. We also learn, in passing, that Lip is 23 now, so that makes Ian 22, Debbie 18, and Carl 17-he could totally be charged as an adult for dealing that meth, not that the show is going to go there.

Debbie got her hair washed. That’s it. That’s what we see now on this show.

They continue to push the poverty vs the 1 percenter life style with Liam. I’m sorry, I can’t get into it. We all-including the Gallaghers-have TV, we know that rich people live differently than most of us. Can we move the fuck on, please?

Carl was barely in this ep-all he did was sell Ian’s meth and set Ian off at the end of the episode.

Frank is, as usual, not really worth talking about-we all know it’s just a matter of time before he’s back to his old ways. However, in his job interview scene, the other character got to sit there and tell the story of his past relationship and cry about it-so, another scene Ian should’ve had long ago where he talked about Mickey like that, grrr.

Now Ian, eye roll. The “here’s what you missed” went to him this week-he’s on the job, running from the EMT ambulance to a victim and he says, “Shit, I’m out here saving lives...” and I couldn’t help but think, “and looking to push my meth.”

Ian shows up for breakfast that Carl’s making, and Lip is at the sink with a plate, filling his face. Ian teases him, asking if he’s eating for two, and oddly rubs Lip’s stomach for an unnecessarily long amount of time. It made me realize how little those two have physical contact-they never even clasp each other on the shoulder or anything. This OOC rubbing from Ian was wicked weird, but of course it’s setting up the fact that Ian is very aware of BMI and how much a low one means to him. Lip says he’s trying to fight the urge to drink with extreme nausea, Ian answers, “Sounds healthy”, foreshadowing the other theme the show will hit hard this week-trading one unhealthy thing for another, sort of a lesser of two evils thing.

Carl says he can finally move Ian’s meth, so he runs to get it, but when Ian goes to hand it over, he gets weird about it-not because it could kill people/ruin lives, but because it’s the last (I would say “only”) thing Monica gave them, and “when it’s gone, she’s gone”. Carl couldn’t care less, and says he’s going to take a bigger cut from Ian than he did from Lip since Ian’s being a pussy or whatever.

Ian’s at the youth center, outside, taking care of a couple of kids and he’s all mopey and doesn’t even acknowledge Terror. Terror, of course, can’t have Ian not hitting on him, so he asks Ian if he’s okay. Ian says he got “kinda sad about Monica today”, Terror says that’s not weird (who said it was weird? Him not hitting on you is the only thing you think is weird, you rapey idiot), she hasn’t been dead very long. Ian sadly says, “I guess.” Terror tells him when he’s sad he goes to Bear Back. Ian is incredulous. “The chub bar? You’re into chubs?” The bigger the better,” says icky T. Ian says, “How do I not know this about you?” Because, Ian, you know almost NOTHING about this little asshole-there’s nothing to know and the writers haven’t bothered with anything other than he’s trans and he’s annoying.

I’m not going to bother trying to describe the disdain on Ian’s face and in his tone with everything that had to do with this part of the story-suffice it to say it was there, and it made me very sad that they’re painting Ian as this shallow, callow person who only cares about a guy’s body type not being big. Line up Mickey, Faileb, Terror, Kash, and Ned-none of them even have the “same” body type, but none of them were overweight. I guess that’s the only thing that bothers Ian.

Ian says he doesn’t get it, so Terror finally, after all this time, says they should go get a drink and Ian will “get enlightened”. “Or smothered,” Ian says-oh ho, that’s a great joke!

Cut to them at the bar. They have the following conversation:

Ian: This is seriously your type? Terror: Sometimes. I: What’s the attraction? T: They like to please. They’re tender. I: (to the bartender) Two shots of well whiskey. (What, no “please”? What a prick!) (to Terror) These guys? T: It’s not like I go for them all the time. It’s just when I need someone really nice in my life. Like let’s say there was this guy that I really loved (I screamed while watching this when he said that, Ian just sort of made a dismissive face-it’s not like he was hurt thinking that Terror truly loved him. Terror knew him for what-18 days before Ian ran off with Mickey?) and he deserted me (why are you being such a drama queen?) for three days to go to Mexico with his escaped convict ex. (I think you mean love of his life, asshole) I: Um-hm... T: I would come here, find a chub to worship me. (Get the fuck over yourself!!!!)

Terror tosses back his drink, leads Ian over to meet some guys at the pool table, they say Hi all interested, Ian sucks down his drink, looks like he’s not into this at all. Hello scene with the girl on the train all over again.

Next thing we know, we’re watching Ian have an orgasm-something we never got with Mickey-as he sits on a couch getting a blowjob from one of the big guys who is on his knees in front of him. In the background, about 15 feet away, the other big guy is on a bed facing the room Ian is in while Terror plows into him from behind. Seriously? Ian and Terror are this type of fuck buddies now? Ian’s wanted to get back with Terror since getting back from Mexico (allegedly), but he’ll put up with the two of them having sex in basically the same room?

Ian’s guy finishes him off and sits on the couch next to Ian and says, “Oh, you’re such a good boy.” 5 years with Mickey and we never got to see them talk after sex, but this rando gets to compliment him? Ian makes a face and says thanks and gets up-to leave, I hope, and not to go join in on the bed with Terror and the other guy. Ian’s guy asks where’s he going, Ian looks over at T on the bed and says, “What?” The guy says “Come here,” and lies down on the couch. Ian immediately gets in the little spoon position for no reason we can see whatsoever, but then Nancy pulls a little fan service and has him cry lying on his side, just like that scene from yesteryear. Ian doesn’t say anything, so it’s not like we can think he’s crying for Mickey, or because he’s flashing back to when he had meaningless sex with too many strangers to count before or because he feels bad about using this guy-it’s all supposed to be about Monica.

Next time we see Ian he’s in the hot tub and Fiona comes and joins him and he tells Fiona “other than crying in some fat fucking furry stranger’s arms tonight” he’s great. They have a boring talk about her day, and then Fi says she wants to know what’s going on. Ian says it’s embarrassing, Fi says, “Okay”, Ian tells her, “Terror said that hooking up with a chub would make me feel better about Monica but it don’t-it made me feel worse.” Fiona: Really? You’re upset she died? (This is why you never go to Fiona for advice about interpersonal relationships, Ian! She’s not wired like you!) I: Yeah. I know you guys have all moved on and I haven’t. (Shit, Ian, you really are all alone in this world now, aren’t you? You really should’ve gone to Mexico with the one and only person who cares about you!) F: Moved on while she was alive. I: Well, I guess I’m the family freak for not wanting to forget about her. (yeah, you should just forget about her-you could do it with Mickey, and he actually had your back!) F: I don’t think you’re a freak cuz you don’t want to forget her. I think you’re a freak cuz you cried in a fat dude’s arms.

They splash each other and the next day I’m reading posts about how great it is that Fiona’s acting like Ian’s sister again-huh? Did I miss when she said, “I’m sorry you’re hurting, I’m here for you, what do you need”? She told a fat joke and didn’t look the least bit worried over Ian’s suffering-or what he did to try to alleve it. And what about her worrying/saying that fucking Terror will set a match to Ian’s sweet life that he’s worked so hard to achieve? Shouldn’t any big sister’s response to “Trevor said...” be, “If Trevor told you to sniff glue would you have done THAT? That’d make you forget your pain over Monica for a while too, but IT’S NO FUCKING SOLUTION.”

Also, this whole thing just proves that Terror has no credentials whatsoever. He’s probably just a volunteer at the youth center-they let him drive kids around without a valid license and now his advice to someone who’s had bad sex almost his entire life is to go have some more to feel better for a while. Fuck this noise. There’s no way he’s ever had formal training to be a counselor working with at risk kids.

At least this time the hot tub had steam rising off it.

You’d think that’d be enough bad for one ep, but no! We still have the tattoo to get through! Ian’s already getting inked when the scene begins, and the artist asks if he’s doing okay, and Ian says yeah, he’s digging the pain. The tattoo guy says a lot of people say that especially if they’re going through a hard time. Ian asks why is that and the guy says, “Emotional pain has no location. Physical pain does-you can name it. So it becomes a little more manageable.” Um, Nancy? Did you just sign off on self-harm? That is NOT good or reasonable advice! What is it with this episode pushing Ian into destructive behavior?

Anyway, Ian asks how’s it looking, the guy says, “Your girlfriend’s gonna love this one, bro.” Ian says, “It’s not my girlfriend, it’s my mom.” The artist says, “Your mom? Oh you shoulda told me that before I started working on these titties.”

So, what, exactly, was the conversation when Ian got there? “I want a woman’s headless torso tattooed on my back-I’ll explain the significance of it later”???? As with everything on this show, their complete lack of research and respect for the work people do in the real world is non-existent here.

Next time we see Ian he’s drinking a beer shirtless in the Gallagher kitchen and TERROR is there-all my earlier hopes while I was watching that the dueling sex scene was going to be a deal breaker for Ian, at least for a while, has flown out the window. They don’t even say why he’s there-if those two assholes are back together and Terror’s settling in there again, I’ll riot.

Carl comes in from the front door with a random girl we never see up close. He walks all the way to the kitchen leaving her in the background and says Ian’s “lost it” when he hears the tattoo is supposed to be Monica. Oh, that reminds me-when Ian gets his money from Carl, he asks what Ian’s going to do with it and Ian says he’ll use it to do something to memorialize Monica-so, Carl gave Lip 9 grand, even if he kept an extra thousand from Ian, you mean to tell me that tattoo cost Ian all his money and he couldn’t pay the guy to cover it or turn it into something else?

Ian flips out when he recognizes Monica’s jacket on the girl. Carl said he gave it to her for some beers and a blowie. The whole time he’s drinking the beer, Ian’s acting like he did the day at Mickey’s when he wanted to go after the protesters at the serviceman’s funeral. Are we supposed to think he’s getting manic again? That would certainly explain a lot of shit/bad decisions that have gone down in this episode, but they showed him with his pills in the first episode and the writers have said they “dealt with” Ian needing to be medicated-although then they did cave and give us that brief look at Ian needing to get his dose adjusted last season. I hate how the show cares so little about anything, that you just don’t know if there’s reasons for Ian’s behavior or it’s just the indifferent script writers trading off week to week. Anyway, Ian insists Carl bring him to Monica’s storage unit since there’s still some of her stuff there, and Carl calls him “Psycho” but says he will.

The next day Ian’s wearing his bright red Nike high tops, out on the stoop shooting daggers from his eyes as the snooty rich mother of Liam’s sleepover friend is waiting. I assume there was some dialogue that got cut, because why is Ian so hostile towards her? Is he hurt because she’s judging him for living in a bad neighborhood-looking down on him? Isn’t that how this hypocritical fuck was about the big guys in this episode? Why does this show suck so hard now?

The woman’s kid and Liam and Carl come out, and Ian and Carl go to the storage unit and discover a big bad meth dealer there. He figures out they’re Monica’s kids and that she either gave them his meth or they stole it and either way he wants his $70000 back. Setting up the next pointless episode...

There was one scene with a kid playing Yevgeny in it (bring the Henckels back!), and Kev’s cancer scare that I had already read in a spoiler was going to be just that-only a scare. And Kev gets to join a cancer support group but we can’t send Ian to grief therapy because Gallaghers don’t do therapy.

The show is going nowhere. To Cameron after his rant this week I can only say, “Fuck me for giving a shit, you prick.”

#Recap #Season H8 Episode 2 #TW Self harm mention #Still smarting from the fat shaming but I tried to keep my temper in check

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